Being Kind to Yourself

Why do we part take in exercising and dieting? To feel better about ourselves - so why turn it into something we hate or dread, therefore won’t be able to sustain long term by adhering to restrictive diets and stupid exercise regimes that will burn us out?

I listened to Body Kindness this morning written by Rebecca Scritchfield and it really sparked a lot of thoughts for me surrounding the way we have been conditioned to perceive food and exercise due to the diet culture. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has not read it.

We believe looking a certain way, or earning a certain amount of money is going to make us happy, in actual fact, only 10% of our happiness comes from these surface layer factors. A whopping 40% of our happiness comes from our daily choices - so if you choose every day to restrict yourself from things you love, the long term happiness reward will be less than the happiness you would be feeling if you just allowed yourself these pleasures, in moderation. 

You can do this and still achieve your goals. 

I don’t know about you but I bloody love food - it is such a pleasure for me, why would I want to take the enjoyment out of something I love for a physique that will probably leave me once I have finished dieting in a worse place than when I started. No thank you. 

Is it just me, or when you diet, all you can do is fantasise about bingeing on a whole heap of bad food. But if you don’t restrict anything, your body will actually start craving healthy food. Yes you will have days where you want chocolate, or pizza, but this becomes the exception not the rule. Whereas, with dieting, it is kind of the other way round. 

Diet culture has labeled foods as healthy and unhealthy, however I do not like to look at it this way. There are some foods that will make you feel good physically, and some foods that will make you feel good mentally - and I believe it is important to have both. 

Why are we conditioned to believe some things are healthy and unhealthy - this gives the unhealthy foods a sort of ‘forbidden fruit label’ creating anxiety around them if you do eat them. This anxiety around food is actually the most unhealthy part. And conditioning us to believe we should absolutely stay away from these foods, makes us want them more! So strip these labels! 

Food is not there to add to your stress, there are plenty of other life factors for that. Food is there to be enjoyed, so let it be just that. Listen to your body, and I guarantee most of the time, you will opt for the “healthier” option, because when we eat intuitively and recognise the kinds of foods that make us feel good physically, we are more likely to choose them more often. And these foods can be different for everyone, we are all unique. 

So please do not associate your meals with guilt. 

This brings me onto my next point - exercise.

Another thing that stood out to me in Rebecca’s book was the astonishing amount of people who only engage in exercise to counteract the food they are eating. I have to say, I put my hands up to be guilty of this, and I didn’t even realise I was until listening to Rebecca’s book. Especially during lockdown, I feel like we are all engaging in tons of extra exercise to counteract our food choices. This is totally the wrong way to look at it. 

After realising that I was succumbing to this maladaptive mental thought, I asked myself - what does exercise really mean to me deep down? 

My answer: it is my absolute passion, it is my life, my career, my therapy, my meditation, my escape, my happiness and lastly, it is my boss bitch moment. Truly exercise really makes me feel like a strong, powerful boss a** bitch. So why in the hell was I associating this with my negative mindset towards food?! (Little side note, I know I have said all of the above, but I am only human and I still have a negative relationship with food due to the way we have been conditioned by diet culture and the fitness industry - it is ever improving and adhering to intuitive eating, allowing myself to have whatever I want etc etc is really helping. But there are sometimes where I just feel like I need to restrict everything - I am in the process of practicing what I preach, but I am not an expert there yet). 

An example of me forcing myself to exercise during quarantine due to consumption of food: I, as with many others, have been jumping on the excessive cardio train. I started running - and to be honest, I hate running. I don’t enjoy it when I am doing it, and I just feel tired and sick at the end of it. But I thought I had to because my movement has gone down so much. But then I thought to myself, it is stupid to engage in a form of exercise that doesn’t make me happy when my relationship with other types of exercise is so positive and strong. And let me tell you - WALKING is now my new best friend. BQ (before quarantine), I would probably walk around 15,000 steps per day between gyms. And it was my me time, and I missed this. So, every morning now, at 6am I wake up, and take myself on a 5k walk. It is amazing, I bloody love it. It’s quiet, no one is awake yet, just me, my thoughts and my podcasts (I get all my education now in my morning hourly walk, for business, mindset, nutrition, fitness etc). So I am learning, it makes me feel good, sets me up for a productive day, and I am getting more steps in than if I was running, that’s what matters more to me. Exercise doesn’t have to be and shouldn’t be a chore, just move your body in a way you love. 

If you find yourself feeling as if you are forcing yourself to part take in some form of exercise, maybe step back and think why? And what alternative can you do that you love, that will have the same outcome?

This is such a ramble, but I just want to wrap up following on from this with my last little point I took away from Rebecca’s book - which is body image vs body kindness. What we see in the mirror is always going to change, and is never going to be the same as that girl you are comparing yourself to on instagram. So instead of fixating on what you want to change, be kind to your body. Focus on the change you have already made, how far you have come, how your body has changed for you, and how it will continue to change, if you are just kind to it. 

Lets put a bulldozer to diet culture and live well because we love our bodies and we want to be kind to them, and help them be the best they can be, not “eat healthy” in diet culture terms (restriction, stress, anxiety, binge repeat) because we hate our bodies and want to change them. 

Your body is uniquely yours, please don’t ever think you want or need to change anything, just think about what you can do to make your body (and mind), the best version you can make it. 

Nutrition Advice

I like to think I have learned a lot within the past year about nutrition, through my Personal Trainer qualification, my own research and personal trial and error. I looked extensively into nutrition when trying to fix my acne, and the subject just fascinates me - I am am massive foodie, a big believer in balance, treating yourself, whilst respecting your body and eating to reach your personal goals. So I wanted to note down a few things that I have found helpful, just the basics, easy to understand, and hopefully helpful tips that you can take away to better your understanding of food groups, nutrition and how to better your life through what you eat.

Firstly - a mantra to live by. You cannot out-train a bad diet. Just because you go to the gym a few times a week, and burn a lot of calories on a spin bike for example, does not give you the allowance to eat more that day, when for majority of the rest of the day you are sitting down at a desk, staring at a computer.

Try and have a balance of each major food group for each meal. E.g. some form of carb, protein, source, healthy fat on top of a bed of micronutrients.

Consume the majority of your starchy carbohydrates e.g. potatoes, rice, oats, before and after your training sessions.

Protein: made up of branch chain amino acids, essential for muscle growth and repair

Carbohydrate: the bodies primal energy source

Fat: a source of energy, as well as essential for efficient hormone functioning

Vitamins and minerals (from micronutrients): contribute to just about everything in the body – essential for immune functioning, gut health, skin health, energy, mood, cell reproduction and repair etc etc.

Food is energy – what is used is burned (calories), what is not used is stored as fat. Therefore, to lose fat, you simply need to be burning more than you are eating (a calorie deficit). If you want to gain muscle, you need to be eating more than you are burning (a calorie surplus).

In order to gain lean muscle, the best thing to do is start in a 10% deficit from your maintenance calories (burning the same amount as you are eating), and gradually increase your calories once you have dropped a certain amount of body fat until you reach a 10% surplus. Ensure you are eating wholesome, nutritional whole foods as this food is the best for the gut and will ensure lean muscle gains without too much fat storage.

Try and stay away from anything out of a packet or processed as the artificial ingredients are very bad for our gut health which can lead to stubborn fat.

If you can keep eating out to a minimum, this is your best option as there are a lot of hidden calories in food, and you cannot control this.

Track everything – this is the only way to be sure you will lose the fat; you need to be in control of your calories. I use Lifesum, myfitnesspal is another good one to use. Just make sure you do not have your activity connected to the apps, as it is better to work out your own BMR (basal metabolic rate – what you burn by simply existing) and TDEE (total daily energy expenditure – the amount burned taking into account your daily activity) beforehand and set your own calories to an average per day.

Drinks: stick to water. Liquid calories are empty calories, they cause you to store fat and do not fill you up. Try and stay away from alcohol if you can if you are really serious about getting into shape – alcohol is highly calorific, and because of its effect on our perception, it also causes us to eat more unhealthy food in large quantities. 

We are all human, and it is normal to want a treat every now and again, whether this be a night out, a dessert, a fancy meal. This is fine, and encouraged, but just be smart with it. You need to burn off the energy in other ways, or intake less energy. For example, if you are going to have a big meal on Saturday night, including alcohol and dessert which may end up being a 2,000 calorie meal – just reduce your calories by about 200-300 less per day a couple of days before, and a couple of days after this, or reduce them to 100 less per day, and increase your daily activity so you are burning an extra 150-200 calories per day. As long as you are still averaging at your TDEE goal, it is fine to indulge every now and again, just be smart with it, and be aware of the extra work needed to compensate for this.

What should be on your plate:

Macronutrients – you need to have a source of protein, carbohydrate and healthy fat in every meal, as well as a variety of micronutrients per meal.

Good protein sources:

-          Chicken

-          Fish

-          Lean turkey mince

-          Grass fed beef

-          Protein powders (try and find a natural one without a lot of artificial ingredients)

-          Eggs

Good Carbohydrate sources:

-          Sweet potato

-          Pumpkin

-          carrots

-          Brown rice

-          Quinoa

-          Lentils

-          Beans & pulses

-          Apples

-          Bananas

-          Berries

-          Rolled oats

-          Wholegrain bread (sourdough or rye – in moderation)

-          Mushrooms

-          eggplant

Good fat sources:

-          Avocado

-          Eggs

-          Organic nut butters (check ingredients – should be 100% nuts)

-          Almonds

-          Cashews

-          Macadamia nuts

-          Chia seeds

-          Flax seeds

-          Pumpkin seeds

-          Extra virgin olive oil

-          Hemp seed oil

-          Avocado oil

-          Coconut oil

-          Ghee

-          Edamame beans

Micronutrients (your veggies)

-          Spinach

-          Kale

-          Broccoli

-          Bell peppers

-          Alfalfa sprouts

-          Asparagus

-          Green beans

-          Cauliflower

-          Cabbage

-          Peas

-          Onion

-          Garlic

-          Ginger

-          Zucchini

-          Herbs and spices

I hope you found this helpful, and if you implement any of these tips let me know:) Thank you so much to those of you who are reading my blog it really means a lot!